Mise Tales Six

If you do not know what Mise Tales are then please see Mise Tales One.

Quite a miscellaneous selection this time – mostly humour. The first is a cool Snickers candy bar advertisement, again with a lighthouse theme. Does anybody have any other lighthouse advertising?

Big job to go? Get on with it.

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The next one is a Carlsberg beer commercial that is no longer available.

 
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Helicopter Pilot Rules

In my 32 years of living on the BC lighthouses my family and I travelled many thousands of kilometres with the pilots of the Canadian Coast Guard helicopter section. Some long trips; some short. In all those hours we never once experienced an emergency or were in any danger.

Many thanks to all the great pilots past and present and let me not forget the engineers that maintained those machines and the secretaries who kept things running smoothly. Thanks to all.

The following are some of the comically-phrased but serious rules that apply to all pilots whether helicopter or fixed wing:

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

4. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

5.The rotor is just a big fan on top of the helicopter used to keep the PILOTcool. When it stops you can actually watch the PILOTstart sweating.

6. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

7. A good landing is one from which you can walk away. A great landing is one after which they can use the aircraft again.

8. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

9. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

10. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you’ve made.

11. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.

12. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passengers, things are not at all as they should be.

13. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.

14. Remember: gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s a law that is not subject to repeal.

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. . . and last but not least, this political cartoon which shows what the government thinks about manned lighthouses.

 

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