Let’s Finish the Month With . . .

We started this month with an April Fool’s joke – lets finish it with a few more jokes.

Below are a group of jokes, mostly about management, the office, and working hours, etc., all related to lighthouse work in a way. A lot have been adapted from other jokes. Authors are mostly unknown, or they won’t come forward! Enjoy!

Tools of a Lighthouse Keeper

Q. What are a lightkeeper’s two best friends? A. Duct tape and WD-40.

If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40.

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New Rules for Government Employees

Dress Code

It is advised that you dress according to your salary.

If we see you leaving on holidays wearing fancy shoes and carrying an Eddie Bauer bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to go to work. Continue reading

Humour – Lightkeeper – Management Boat Race

The Lightkeepers won by a mile!

The Coast Guard Management (red) and the Lighthouse Keepers (green) agreed to engage in a yearly boat race. Each team would contain eight (8) men. Both teams practiced hard to get in the best shape and  to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they both felt ready to win. The Lighthouse Keepers won by a mile! 

 

Here was the root of the problem!

The Management team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Coast Guard Management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found because they were going to win the race next year. So they established a panel of auditors to observe the problem and see if there were any differences between the teams. Continue reading

5 Minute Management Course +

No matter where you work, we all like to make fun of management. It was no different on the lighthouses. In my day they went by mail, or word of mouth; now it is more rapid by email. You may have heard these before, but they are still funny.

5 Minute Management Course (for all those wishing to attain a higher position)  

Lesson 
1 :

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…..
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ Continue reading